Sunday 20 December 2015

Neville Has Changed The Sign At Santa's Toy Factory...

A message from Santa's two loyal elves, Derek Droopy-Ears and Elvis Curly-Toes...

Look at what nasty Neville has done to the toy factory sign!
Hello Santa!

As you can see, Neville the Naughty Elf has been doing all sorts of naughty things since you left him in charge.  He's even changed the sign at the front of the toy factory from 'Santa's Toy Factory' to 'Neville's Toy Factory'!

And if he carries on putting so many nice kids on the naughty list then it won't even be called a 'toy' factory, because there'll be no nice kids left on the 'nice list' to make toys for!

We've uploaded a photo of the new sign as proof, so that you can see what Neville has been up to while you're away.  To be honest though, Santa, the new sign is just the tip of the iceberg!

Saturday 19 December 2015

Neville Has Given All The Elves A Pay Cut...

A message to Santa from his two loyal elves, Derek Droopy-Ears and Elvis Curly-Toes...

Hello Santa!

We've already told you about some of the things that nasty Neville has been up to since you left him in charge, like putting nice kids on the naughty list and changing the sign to 'Neville's Toy Factory'.  But the worst thing of all is that Neville has given all the elves a fifty percent pay cut!

We know things are tight this year and there's a global recession at the moment, but Neville isn't even planning to use the extra money to make more toys for the kids.  He's planning to spend the money on himself!

As evidence, we've uploaded a photo of our new contract which Neville issued to all the elves this morning...

Official memo from Neville the Elf informing the elves of the pay cut.

Friday 18 December 2015

Neville Has Been Putting Nice Kids On The Naughty List...

A message to Santa from his two loyal elves, Derek Droopy-Ears and Elvis Curly-Toes...

Naughty Neville has been putting
nice kids on the naughty list!
Hi Santa!

This is a photo we managed to sneakily take of Neville's 'naughty list'.  As you can see, some of the kids on the naughty list have actually been really good, and there's no reason for Neville to put them on the naughty list.  He's just being nasty!

Admittedly, one or two of the kids have been quite naughty - for example, Thomas Jenkins dived and rolled around on the floor during a game of football and pretended to be injured to try and get Danny Johnson sent off, so admittedly he does deserve to go on the naughty list - but most of the kids on the naughty list have been really good this year.

Honestly Santa, you wouldn't believe some of the trivial reasons that Neville has been putting kids on the naughty list for!

Anyway, we've uploaded the photo for evidence, and as you can see, most of the kids on the naughty list are actually quite nice!